Welcome to the second part of the ‘Self confidence & Independence: the foundations of success,’ series!
In this post, you will learn how to better your self-confidence through your relationship with others, and through your own mental and physical health.
If you haven’t checked out the first post (where I focus solely on your relationship with yourself – the most FUNDAMENTAL step for increasing self-confidence), have a look at it here.
More so than mental and physical health, it may be quite unusual for you because I will be giving you tips about your relationship with others.
The most defining part of the word ‘self-confidence,’ I’d say is ‘self,’ but we also live in a world where we’re not just by ourselves and where we must interact with others all the time.
Self-confidence is important when dealing with your relationship with others because you should be able to stand firmly on your feet, express your views and needs and not feel uncomfortable doing it.
Having confidence in your mental and physical health is also essential. I’ve spoken a bit about mental health in these posts especially, but I have always talked about strengthening it, not feeling confident about it.
I want you to finish reading this post with the understanding that no matter where you are in your physical or mental health journey, you should be confident at every single stage.
Whether you’re 10kg heavier than you want to be or still find it difficult to speak to new people, having self-confidence will help you overcome these obstacles and help you reach your goals.
Relationship with Others
- Surround yourself with strong, like-minded people
Have you ever heard of the quote, ‘you are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with’?
Because it so true.
For example, if you surround yourself with 5 friends who are unmotivated and don’t have many goals in life, chances are you will slowly be influenced by this type of behaviour and then get stuck in an unhappy rut in your life.
But, surrounding yourself with determined people with goals will motivate you to do the same for yourself.
Make friends with people who are confident, independent and focussed and have qualities that you would want to have in yourself.
2. Be more open
The best way to achieve this is to actively speak to people who have different views to you. Listen to their perspectives and try to understand why they would think in this way.
I go more into detail about topics related to this in The Ultimate Mind Glow up series where I focus both on self-love and self-development.
This series is for those of you who want to transform your mindset to become more positive and determined. It focuses on bettering yourself solely – and as I said before, in order to gain success you must nurture a good relationship with yourself before anything else!
Doing this regularly may then open up your mind to trying out different activities, watching a different genre of movies or changing your viewpoint on something.
Being open to multiple viewpoints is a sign of self-confidence; it means that you are secure enough in yourself and understand that others viewpoints aren’t something you should depend on, but something you learn from.
3. Take a route you wouldn’t have taken before
This ties in with the point above – try doing new things!
Staying in an old routine can become really boring and may not give you as much satisfaction anymore. Try a new hobby or even switch up your routine once in a while.
Routines are definitely not a bad thing; they help put structure in your life and make your day to day workings go smoothly. But sometimes, these routines are so inbuilt that you aren’t present during the day and instead carry out your tasks like a robot.
One thing that can really help you feel present during the day while at the same time having an organised routine in place is to slightly switch up your routine every now and then.
4. Speak less, listen more
Sometimes when you have conversations (especially if it is more like a healthy debate), you may tend to push your views without really hearing the other person.
This is one area in which you should speak less and listen more.
Listen to what the other person is trying to say and give them time to explain their views; this might actually make you change your view on a topic you’re arguing passionately about, and also makes you more open to understanding new ideas and thought processes.
The most important area where the ‘speak less, listen more,’ rule comes into play is learning through speech/ conversation with knowledgeable people.
There are many more knowledgeable people than you. Listen to what they have to say and soak in the information, and make sure to ask questions when you don’t understand something.
This is honestly a great way to learn more because it involves an organic process and can be a very enjoyable one too!
5. Ignore negativity
You want to start that business? Start that business. You want to start a new degree? Start a new degree.
If there are people who are doing anything other than advising you or supporting you in taking these decisions, then in your mind ‘blocku, blocku, blocku,’ (you know what meme I’m referring to right??)
Of course, the people who are close to you are allowed to disagree with you if they think you’re making a wrong decision, but as soon as they pass that threshold where they are just basically putting you down, you need to ignore them.
You are independent, confident, able and smart; you know what is right for you and what is not, so all the decisions that you make are ultimately up to you.
Do not let negative talk or snide comments or scoffs affect you. When your success comes, we’ll see who’s talking.
Related:
Self confidence & Independence: the foundations of success PART 1
The Ultimate ‘Mind Glow-up’ Series (Part 1) – SELF LOVE
The Ultimate ‘Mind Glow-Up’ Series Part 2 – SELF DEVELOPMENT
6. Guard your self-respect, your self-esteem and your self-love
It is by no means a weak thing to be unfollowing accounts on Instagram that make you feel bad about yourself.
Nowadays on Instagram, we see many things from perfect bodies to being a millionaire at the age of 20. Because of this, you may feel pressured to do the same.
Bu, everyone has their own journey and this rush to fame and wealth, while it may be great, can be an unhealthy mindset to have. Enjoy the life you have now, work hard but make sure to enjoy the scenery.
Similarly, anyone who says anything that affects your self-respect, self-esteem or self-love need to be ignored. Either limit how much you see them, ignore them or say goodbye.
These three aspects of yourself define who you are; guard them and don’t let anyone’s comments put you down.
Don’t let another person’s insecurity put down the confidence you have worked so hard to build for yourself.
MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH
1. Take care of your mind and body
A pretty generic step, but one that can be broken down into many goals.
Figure out the best workout routine for you (don’t feel the need to force yourself to the gym if you don’t like it, out-home workouts can be great too!), think about what you eat and whether it’s good for you.
Create organic body scrubs and face masks, identify the physical aspects of yourself that you would like to improve, and then find ways to treat it.
Or journal to get through some personal issues you have, have a self-care day, read a book or see a friend.
Self-confidence comes from feeling secure with one self and in order to do this, get comfortable with your mind and body.
2. Educate yourself
Use time to read books, watch dramas and listen to podcasts that will enrich your mind.
I have the beeest post for you to read if you’re looking for books that not only entertain you but that will culturally inform you about the world. I list a range of books with different genres and different lengths so I’m sure one of the books on it will peak your interest!
Education is so so SO important.
Some of you may be thinking, ‘that’s crap, I was never good at school, and I didn’t like what I was learning,’ and this is completely valid.
First of all, it may be the way you were being taught; it might have not been your preferred learning style. Or it could be that you could never wrap your head around algebra and metaphors.
Education doesn’t come through just academic learning, but it could be learning how to network and how to get contacts, or knowing the ins and outs of cars.
You don’t need to fit a specific definition of ‘smart,’ smartness comes in many forms and you are definitely a smart person.
So why not further your skills and gain more knowledge?
3. Follow your interests, even if people find it weird
If you want to perform at a poetry slam, do it; if you want to take a shoe making class, do it. I don’t know what I’m saying at this point, but I hope you’re getting the gist of it.
Don’t think about what others think, and whether they’ll find it weird or not.
You are old enough to know what you like and what you don’t.
And if you’re still in that secondary school mindset of being part of the ‘cool crowd’ and doing ‘cool’ things, you need to grow up, sorry.
There you have it!
Check out the third and final post in this series, where you will learn how to have self-confidence when achieving your goals, and dealing with finance.
For those of you have anxieties and worries when dealing with finance, this final post is the perfect read for you. It will give you simple and initial steps you can take to handling your finance confidently.
There are many ways to gain/ strengthen your self-confidence, and there is also time for you to learn and grow.
Do not get the feeling that you’ve wasted time in the past because of your self-confidence; instead, focus on yourself now and enjoy your time.
It is never too late if you have the confidence to be confident. (Did that even make sense?…)
